One of the things I have been working this summer on is being positive. Being only positive, and seeing everything with an ayin tovah. I know you have heard it before, and I know you are thinking: ‘I have read too many articles about this, and it doesn’t work. It’s a nice concept, but it doesn’t really turn into actual actions.’ That’s exactly what I though. Then I seriously incorporated it into my life. I’m still not super positive, and it is hard to be so when people yell at you, and make you feel bad about yourself. I can say though, that I a much more positive than I was a month ago.
I used to think that I didn’t have the energy inside me to smile and be positive when I was surronded by negativity, and it’s hard, but it’s possible!
I want to say the main thing is just turning things around so it has a different perspective. I’m going to explain this and break it down in an easier format. I’m sure most of you have had grammar/English class before. Do you remember those worksheets/tests about turning your sentences around and formatting them differently?
For example the sentence that was given was: Beautiful giraffes roam the savannah.
You change it to: The savannah is roamed by beautiful giraffes.
Change your negative inner dialogue whenever you realize you (or someone else) are being too hard on yourself.
Sentence that was said: Rivky, I hate the shirt you are wearing, it’s so nebachy.
You change it to: Esti doesn’t like the style of the shirt I’m wearing, but I like it. It’s ok for us to have different opinions.
It’s about switching everything around you so it’s positive. It’s about switching around the sentences and conversations so they are positive. We subciounsiosly take things negatively, you don’t have to anymore.
Once you start looking at everything in a positive light and get in the habit it becomes much easier!
Another big thing that plagues me and I’m sure you too is the “if game”. I’m sure you have played this game before, the if game. “If I really was a good friend I wouldn’t of done _____”, “If I really loved Hashem I would of done _____” “If I really had strong Emunah, I wouldn’t be upset right now at all”
First of all, saying the aforementioned type of phrases to yourself is pointless. You leave feeling bad, and nothing good has come out or being worked on based on the beating you are giving yourself.
Second of all, you cannot change the past. Currently time travel is not yet possible, I will inform you when it is. Seriously though, there is no “if”. You are here, Hashem doesn’t think about the alternative you, and you shouldn’t either because she or he does not exist. You are exactly where G-d wants you to be right now, so “if” does not exist. If the “if” was the best thing for you then that would of been reality right now, and if it isn’t reality that means it’s not what Hashem wants and it is non existent. Get it? Once you understand this concept, it is so much easier.
All Hashem wants you to do is seize the moment you have now to act and do the best you can. He never expects anything more from you.
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Have a great day!
❤ Hadassi Shachar