Self Esteem

Hey everyone!

You are getting many posts this week.
I have just discovered I have low self esteem. YAY me! Turns out over 80% of the world has low self esteem. Whew, I thought I was alone there for a second!

Seriously though, self esteem is something that affects us all and I’m sure almost all of you have run into problems with it at some point. You feel it when you see someone “more successful than you” (although there is no such thing as I have discussed in the past). You feel it when you are snobbed out, ignored, not included, lonely, bored, and so much more. I in particularly dealt with low self esteem and I still do, although my self esteem is much better at this point. If you would of asked me a few months ago I would of said I felt that I didn’t deserve to be born, as that’s what people had told me through out my life verbally and non verbally. Baruch Hashem I am better now and I do believe I am here for a reason and a purpose and I have a right to live even if no one else believes so.

Here’s some of the things that helped me (and continue helping me) get more self esteem, self respect, and self love:

Live in the moment

When you are focused on the moment, you are not worrying about how you look or what other people may be thiking. Basically just relax and have fun. Count to ten very slowly and focus on each number and envision it in your find for a few seconds. Then forget about all your thoughts and just go out and be the best you you can be today!

Develop awareness

When we’re aware of what we are doing and how we are thinking we can change it. Practice being aware and your low self esteem thoughts and try to counter them with good ones. 

Write in a journal

Many of our thoughts and feelings are locked in our subconscious mind and writing can help to bring them into our awareness. Writing about the way we feel and think can help to separate negative ideas about ourselves from the truth of who we really are. I myself have been keeping a journal for 4 years and it’s one of the greatest things I have ever done. But beware, they can backfire. If rereading your journal makes you feel bad perhaps it is better off to throw out or even burn the papers you have written. I myself admit to keeping my old journals at a person whom I trust house, so I can’t reread them. I actually went to reread an old journal at her house today so I could see how I have changed. This really boosted my self esteem but I made sure not to get caught up in it too much and put it back after 15 minutes or so.

Be non-judgmental about yourself

We are always talking about how we shouldn’t judge others and how it sucks when other judge us. Well you know who is the king of judging ourselves? Ourselves!! Stop judging yourself more than any other human being would. It isn’t fair to yourself. If other people have accepted and forgiven you, you must do the same to yourself. (It isn’t easy. I must admit I judge myself all the time and I’m not too successful at stopping it)

Stay connected to yourself

Look over your life, and connect to who you really are. If you sit with yourself and recount your thoughts and actions honestly you will see that there is so much more than the little speck you are focusing on. It’s like saying a painting is green when in reality there is one dot of green in a sea of orange.

Practice mindful meditation

Meditation just means letting go of the racing thoughts in your mind and accepting that those thoughts, feelings and beliefs are transient, rather than parts of yourself. Take a few moments every day to simply be still, focus on your breathing and watch your worries drift away like clouds.

Develop a beginner’s mind and child’s mind

When you have a beginner’s mind, you look at things as if you are seeing them for the first time, with openness, eagerness and freedom from expectation. You can see things in a new light, rather than automatically responding with the same old patterns of behavior. 

With a child’s mind everything is exciting, new, colorful and thoughts don’t stay in one place for long. Children don’t get stuck in the cycles of pain, regret, and bad thoughts.

Realistic Expectations

Let go of what you think you should do or who you should be, you can trust yourself and choose what’s right for you. Think realistically of what you are capable of and stop blaming yourself for not reaching higher than that.

Show compassion toward yourself

You deserve love as much as anyone else. Self-compassion simply means providing yourself with the love, safety and acceptance you need.

Another few smart sentences:
– Comparing yourself to others is toxic

– You are so much more than what you see
– The only thing you have is Hashem-he is the one who fills you up with whatever feelings and thoughts you are having now
– Life is not black and white-it’s gray. Lots of gray. Lots of shades.
– Most people aren’t thinking of you right now. Gasp! People are selfish creatures, they got a lot about their own lives to think about.
– Patterns are powerful and strengthen beliefs. Break bad patterns now!
-Let go of bad people who make you feel ichy feelings while you are around them
– Healthy relationships begin when you love yourself.
– Beauty is overrated.
 Mistakes and failure are good. They teach you.

A very good thing so help your self esteem is to take on something small and easy. (Preferably something physically so that you can physically see the change) even if it’s the most stupid thing in the world, you will feel accomplished when you stick to it and feel good with yourself.

Self esteem is something every human needs and you should make it your business to make sure it is up and going strong. Self esteem should not be based on other people, places, or things in yourself-rather it should lie in yourself. Of course people, places, and things can improve your self esteem and make you feel good but that should not be the foundation or the better part of your self esteem. I guess writing this makes me feel a bit better about my own self esteem and I hope that I can do what I preach if you know what I mean. I already do some of it, but it’s an uphill battle 🙂

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Comment        ❤ Hadassi
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