Hello all my dear readers!
I have gotten quite a few emails since my post on shabbaton asking how it went. I’m happy to tell you guys that it went wonderful and in fact was the best shabbaton I ever had in my life.
A few of you keep asking what I’m doing for seminary, but I seriously have no idea yet. I’m trying to head in the direction of an english speaking place that has a dorm and only learns kodesh. Basically-american seminary. Language isn’t a deal breaker for me but I would definitely appreciate hearing my mother tongue (and not just during recess)
What other updates are going on in my life? Well I’m now working for the wonderful magazine and website Yehudis, I’m trying to take on a hobby since I find that I’m on the computer more often that I’d rather be unfortunately. I’m thinking of cooking or something.
I think shabbaton went so well because I didn’t have high expectations. A lot of people told me they had a horrible time. I’m not saying they had a horrible time because they chose to, but just saying perhaps it was horrible because they didn’t decide to choose to make it great.
We have to have expectations in life. If we had no expectations at all people would easily be able to trample us and manipulate us. The question are our expectations normal? We can only be the honest judge of that for ourselves. In shabbaton I did not expect anyone to save me seat, have a DMC with me, and so on. I expected people to talk to me and include me the class conversations. I was hoping to get a chance to talk for a bit alone with one of my good friends or in general one or two of the girls I’m friends with-but I didn’t expect it. What’s the difference? Well let’s say I didn’t get a chance to talk to Rochel (not her real name) I wouldn’t of been upset.
I think that’s where the problem lies. Sometimes we expect people to do this and that. Really everyone has their own agenda and no one knows yours. Liba doesn’t know you have already planned on talking to her about this really cute boy next door and when she goes to bed early without telling you you get upset. Afterwards she has no idea what she did because she didn’t do anything, you are the person who did something. You expected something of her without telling her.
Think of that being a young baby crying. Babies can’t express themselves very much and you run around trying to figure out what it wants-that’s not what friendship should be. You have a mouth, words, and can express yourself. Just do it! Tell Liba on the way there “Hey, BTW I’d really like to talk to you during shabbaton. So before you go to sleep try to find me or maybe we can speak during rest hour?” I know it sounds silly if she’s your best friend but you really can’t know what will happen. When people don’t live up to your expectations it’s not their fault. It’s yours.
Of course there’s a fine line where normal expectation end and extra ones start. You can definitely expect to see Liba, perhaps sit next to her in at least one of the 3 meals, and expect her to bring all of her jewelry (like she does EVERY shabbaton) and you’ll be able to borrow.
Here’s a photo that really sums up what I’m trying to say: