Responsibility Rant.

Hey everyone! I hope your summer is going great! Baruch Hashem I am bust doing stuff. I am working on finishing my book, and it’s possible my very own first demo song may be ready by the end of the summer! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I was thinking of writing about responsibility. Yes, another post about future and consequences and stuff. I guess that’s what’s been on my mind recently.

Anyway- I wrote on my post about why I didn’t go OTD a bit on the idea of responsibility for ourselves. I mentioned how one of the reasons I didn’t go OTD was cuz I am responsibile for myself and how I, and only I can change myself.

That fact was the reason I was depressed earlier this summer. I was just re-realizing that no one else can take responsibility for my actions except for me, and after 120 years I will go to heaven a lone and face G-d. And he will ask me. He will ask if I tried my hardest, if I followed my heart, if I searched for the truth, or just followed my human nature and did whatever I want.

I feel more and more responsibility as I edge toward the 18 years old mark. My last year of high school hasn’t even started and people are already asking me what are my plans for afterwards. Now such a question may seem nonchalant, but it is quite the opposite. For now I am an adult and where I go next year and what I do with my life reflect the values I have, what I believe in, and who I want to strive to be. My answer for now is “G-d knows, try asking him for me- he wouldn’t tell me”

It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about where I want to go, it’s that I have been thinking about not the options themselves, but my values, ideas, and who I want to be.

Also, giving a rant on the options I think I’d like terrifies me. For if I’m talking about my options it means I’m responsible for the choice. For where I go from here. It’s scary. I know so many people who ruined, messed up their lives, and did stupid things. Every day I daven that G-d should help me not come to those places.

What is the definition of responsible?
1. answerable or accountable, as for something within one’s power,control, or management (often followed by to or for)

2. having a capacity for moral decisions and therefore accountable;capable of rational thought or action

(There are more- but these are the 2 we are looking at now)

It does sound scary. But at the same time, there are so many amazing things I could do now that I have the power to choose.

It’s good to know that we aren’t responsible for everything- whew!
G-d is.

As much as we have to take control and be responsible- we aren’t alone. (Thank G-d!) But the action of changing ourselves- only we can do. Sometimes we expect/want/wish others to do it for us, but alas- they can’t. No one can tell you what to do and how to live your life since YOU know how to do it best.

Even G-d won’t whisper in your ear what to do. He’ll give you the tools though. He’ll put people you need in your life. He’ll let you pray to him and talk to him.

This pretty much sums this all up:

G-d is an amazing teacher!!!

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❤ Hadassi


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