Connected to Hashem


You love feedback Hadassi, so could you write on how to know if you are close to G-d? like, if someone never experienced it, they have nothing to learn from… get what i mean?
thank you!- T.K. pink

Do you feel connected with Hashem?
If your answer is no, know that you are not alone!! Sometimes in life we feel we aren’t connected to G-d. I mean seriously, I have high school ,politics, homework, friend problems, home issues, and so much more. Who IS G-d, and where does he come in my life?

I’m no teacher, nor Rabbi.
I am a teenage girl just like you, so really, who am I to tell you how to become close to G-d? And you are right, I really CAN’T tell you!!!! All I can write are my musings, my experiences, how I did it, people I know, and what I have gained.

About two years ago, G-d was something that was never on my mind. I davened, I said the words, but I never ever spoke to him. Never during Shma Koleinu did I bring my siddur to my eyes and talk. I never understood that. I grew up in a small town-no one ever explained to me why girls brought their siddur to their eyes in middle of shmoneh esrei. I was always to embarrassed to ask. It took me a few years to actually get the idea of just saying whatever you want in middle of your prayers.

But one day my life turned upside down.
“We’re moving to Israel” A few months later I found myself in a new country.

I know girls who have “everything” but her brother beats her, and you just don’t know, or her parents aren’t emotionally present, or her sister is going to a different lifestyle and it’s tearing her apart. Or she spends her nights crying cuz she just doesn’t know who she is and wants to be, or she has no real friends, or is being bullied by someone, or is struggling spiritually, or is on a major low, or has a friend going through a hard time and using her to vent, and she can’t stop thinking of her friend and cries over her for nights, or a close relative is in the hospital, or she misses someone dearly, or someone she knows died, or she a trauma when she was little that is re-surfacing…

Everyone is going through their own things. What I was going through forced me to turn to G-d. I made a conscious decision to make a relationship with him. Making a relationship win him is like making a relationship with a real person! He wants to hear about your life, struggles, and so on. He’s actually waiting for you to ask him to help you! He’s waiting for you to ask for a miracle to help you, and if you ask him he will come!

There are many things you can do to help you work on your relashionship:
– Talk to him, connect to him.
– Inspire yourself
– Talk to your friends, teachers, and other people in your life on how they connect to him
– Read mussar books
– Try to see that everything is from him. When you appreciate him and see everything is from him you can really begin to talk to him. Let’s break this last one up:

1. Hashem gave you this Nisayon
2. Hashem only does stuff for the good

We can use a nisayon to get closer to Hashem. That’s what I did, I began to realize that you can’t trust in people. For people leave, they can betray you, lose touch, and die. So I began to trust in Hashem and tell him everything about my life. When I went to sleep at night I talk into the darkness-to Hashem. I tell him about my day, what went wrong, my hopes, my dreams, my fears, my worries. I ask for guidance.

You may feel funny, if you have never done this before. Y
ou need to open up your heart before you can try anything. Only YOU can tell if you are close to Hashem.

Awesome post, as always! BH, over the past two years, I’ve grown so close to Hashem! Like you, I needed a major nisayon in order to wake me up and remind me what life’s about. I reached a point where I couldn’t go on anymore. My whole life was lying in shambles at my feet, and I felt so agonizingly alone and helpless. At that point, I turned to Hashem and cried my heart out. I yelled at Him, I told Him how wrong He was, and I told Him that if something major doesn’t change, I’m going to drop all pretenses, and go otd. And guess what? My nisayon went on- just as bad as before, if not worse!
 
 But inside of me, something had changed. From then on, every time I was overwhelmed, or feeling so painfully alone, I just turned to Hashem and asked him why, until when, and again- why. BH, I am no longer dealing with that issue anymore, but my relationship with Hashem remained. I don’t yell at Him anymore, though. 🙂 I’ve matured enough to understand that everything He does is for my own good, even if I don’t see it. I still cry when things are too painful, but instead of yelling at Hashem, I beg Him to give me the strength to be able to accept that Hashem is perfect, that He is my Father, and that if He decides that things should be this way, then it is truly for my own good. And even when things are perfect, I still daven a really long Shemoneh Esrei, cuz I feel like Hashen is my Friend, in a mystical kinda way, and it makes me feel happy when I talk to Him. And I ask Him to keep thing good, and I thank Him for all the good in my life. In fact, I make a point to thank Him for three specific things, by Shema Koleinu. 
 
I wonder if it’s possible to grow close to Hashem without a major nisayon that forces you to look for him…
– Penina (A reader)
 
I totally agree with everything she wrote, except with the last sentence. It may be hard, but I don’t think you need a major nisayon. Also, everyone has their own nisyonos and they are hard for everyone is their own way. Now I want to go more deeply into 1. from above:

Try to see that everything is from him. When you appreciate him and see everything is from him you can really begin to talk to him. Let’s break this last one up:

1. Hashem gave you this Nisayon

Well, of course you know that! That’s emunah peshuta. I won’t go into why believe and stuff here, ask a teacher about it or see some other posts about believing in people and Hashem. Anyway, why did he give it to?

I’ll tell you a little secret, he gave it to you because he loves you. He loves you so much, actually, he gave you this nisayon ONLY so you should get closer to him. That’s why he gave to you! He wants you, and only you. There is no other person like you in the world, he is waiting especially to hear you and your prayers! You can talk to him about anything! Maybe in the beginning you will feel silly, or scream at him and be angry, or both….but it doesn’t matter. The point is, you are trying to connect, and once you try…he will too!!!
Once you understand this you can connect almost all of your school classes to your daily life and getting closer to Hashem.

I’m sure you know about all the attacks going on. It’s crazy, especially living in Israel, where it’s happening. I’m sure you’ve heard plenty of speeches and stuff about it.
Either you are one of the girls who have been crying every time you hear more bad news, or you are like me. The type who wants to be sad so badly, but doesn’t feel anything.
Crying and feeling bad has nothing to do with your Kesher with Hashem,  It has to do with your feelings.  We know, from here, that all is for the good:

Try to see that everything is from him. When you appreciate him and see everything is from him you can really begin to talk to him. Let’s break this last one up:

2. Hashem only does stuff for the good

I’m not going to give you a big rant about this, I’m sure you’ve gotten that already from many people before me so I’m going to try and addin the things perhaps you haven’t heard.

If everything is for the good, than “bad” things are done out of his LOVE for you. If he loves you, you must have a relationship with him! Have you ever heard of both a mother and daughter loving each other and no having a relationship together? (Unless one of them is mentally ill-but neither you or G-d is so so that doesn’t apply here)

He is your father, who loves you SOOOOOO much!!!!!!!!!!! We need to connect to Hashem through this love. Through the harships. So much pain and suffering is around these days. Attacks on Israel, our home, people ill and dying at young ages, and so much more I don’t have to write out.

Sometimes we feel more connected to all this pain than towards Hashem but if you think about it the two are intertwined.

If you have a connection to Hashem, than you can realize that these people ALSO had/have a connection with Hashem, they are related to you, your flesh and blood, and are just like you.
If you feel connected to all the pain and suffering, you can see that Hashem is doing this for the good, and connect to him through your pain.

One last great way to connect is doing mitzvos. Just like you do nice things with your friends and share experiences with them makes them closer to you, so does with G-d.

I wrote a bit about that is this old post about how sharing experiences with G-d alone can make you closer.

One last mashal-your relationship with Hashem is like a rope. Every time something happens it breaks and you must retie it. But when it is retied, just like a rope it is stronger. Not only stronger, but shorter. As when you make a knot in something the item gets shorter. So when you break your rope and retie it you aren’t father away, you are davka even closer to Hashem!

Good Luck!!!
KIT
❤ Hadassi
hadassi98@gmail.com

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